he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
