Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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