kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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