I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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