i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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