big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
