Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
