***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
