just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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