Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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