it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
