But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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