i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
