honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
