I'm lost and stupid without you.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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