I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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