Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize