I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
