Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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