i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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