just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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