I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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