I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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