My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it glows. i had to have it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He better not be in your backpack
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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