I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
