Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
