So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize