i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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