they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
