i think i have herpe
just one?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
