Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
