So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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