all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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