Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
