Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
