I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
