Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
