I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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