ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
