Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
