help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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