Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
