i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
