it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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