I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
