come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
