I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
