So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
