No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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