I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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