How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Randomize
