hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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