I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
