Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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