just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
