Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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