At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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