and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
