I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
