rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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