What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
